...underpants?

Boxers or briefs? Strangely, this question has often popped up during conversation. Thankfully, it was the ladies asking.

The skinny on the skivvies.

Note: They were clean and I wasn't wearing them, at the time of scanning.

...a magic wand?

A genuine magic wand, just like the one used by world renown magician Michael Ammar.
Unlike those cheap plastic ones, this wand is made of solid aluminum with a vinyl grip. It's perfect for storing all that, er, magical energy. It smarts if you hit yourself in the head with it too. Not that I would know anything about that, mind you.

Very dangerous in the wrong hands. You could poke an eye out!

I'm quite careful when handling this wand. Last time I waved it around in my living room...the sofa disappeared.

...a portable television?

This is my portable 5" black and white televison. It was made in 1984, according to the sticker on the back. The TV still works perfectly, but I only use it during those annoying power outages that happen occasionally. The lack of use stems from the fact that it sucks the life out of 6 'D' cell batteries in about 4 hours. Not exactly economical to run.

Is this thing on?

Other than some faint retrace lines, it is apparent broadcast TV does not scan. Well, UHF channel 55 didn't, as you can clearly see.

...a floppy hat?

I think I've had this Cleveland Indians floppy hat laying around for about six years or so. I even wore it once or twice. Credit card companies hand out all kinds of stuff, just for filling out their application forms. The sun was really beating down while at the baseball game, that day. I'm sure it was more than a coincidence, that the credit card reps were handing out hats for "a few minutes of your time."

Cost of beers at the game? $4.25.
Ugly hats from credit card companies on hot days? Priceless.

...baked chicken wings?

45 minutes in the oven. Followed by a heavy glazing of a combined teriyaki and soy sauce mixture. My wings are ready to be eaten. But the question has to be asked... how do sauce covered chicken wings scan?

Eww, giant slugs are attacking my wings!!

The sauce on the glass made for an unappetizing look. Proving, it's better just to eat 'em than scan 'em. So, if you'll excuse me. I have to go nuke my now cold chicken wings.

...frozen chicken wings?

Chicken wings, who doesn't love 'em? Deep fried and and covered in your favourite sauce. It makes my arteries harden and my mouth water at the same time. To avoid the deep frying bit, I buy my own frozen wings and throw them in the oven. Not quite as good as the pub wings, but a little less fat involved.

To the oven with you, my pretties.

...the TV remote?

The epitome of laziness. The device responsible for everyday people having to carry the excess 20-30 pounds around the middle (well, ok, Mickey D's is responsible too). It's one of everyone's favourite handheld items...the TV remote.

One of my many remotes

Of course, no-one has just one remote control. To the best of my recollection, I have six remotes for the various bits of electronic crap I own. Hmmm, I'm thinking I should buy stock in the AA and AAA battery biz.

...hot dogs, with mustard and ketchup?

Seeing as the hot dogs in the packages scanned so well, I thought I'd try 'em on a bun with ketchup and Stadium Mustard. Not only do they taste better out of the package, warmed up and slathered in condiments. But the scan isn't bad either.

And on the side, we have cheddar and sour cream potato chips.

'Stadium Mustard' is a brand name for a popular brown mustard made and sold in Cleveland. No Cleveland Browns football or Indians baseball game would be complete without brown mustard on a hot dog.

...a George Foreman Grill?

The famous lean, mean grilling machine. Whether you use it for cooking burgers or for home security, it will knock the fat out of your food and the tar out of unsuspecting burglars.

Also makes for a fine doorstop

This bad boy fell off my kitchen counter and put a big dent in my floor, while only chipping a small piece of the porcelain-like substance off of the grill!

...fish and chips?

It seems I gotta keep that stereotype going! lol! Of course, not all British people eat fish and chips. But i'm sure the majority in the UK eat them from time to time. One thing I can guarantee...when they do have fish and chips, they don't scan them first!!

My mum cut the chips and battered the fish herself, these were the leftovers I took home.

...a scanner?

My old Mustek scanner which I had for about three years. Although, if memory serves, I may have only used it a few dozen times, before the bulb burnt out.

Hopefully, I get more than a few dozen scans out of my HP4070, or this blog won't last long. Was that cheering I heard?